4 Simple Ways to Enjoy the Journey

Mr. "B. Hound" enjoying the journey

What's The Idea?

"There is no inherent problem in our desire to escalate our goals, as long as we enjoy the struggle along the way." - Csikszentimihaly, The How of Happiness

"Where you headed?" It's one of the most often asked questions in any airline terminal. We're intrigued by destinations. And understandably so. Destinations are important. Ask any traveler, the ultimate goal is to get from point A to point B - the where. But is that all that's important. Can't the journey itself - "How you headed?" - be just as important, if not more important?

So What?

Take a look at Mr. "B. Hound" (pictured above). If you've ever seen a dog in a truck speeding down the highway - head hanging out of window, ears flapping in wind, big doggy smile on face - then you've seen a great example of this "joy in the journey" concept. Mr. "B. Hound" has absolutely no concern about getting to his destination. He's just enjoying the journey.

I admit, this is difficult for me. When it comes to enjoying the moment, I drift. I tend to dwell in experiences just on either side of this moment: focused on the past, concerned about the future, and not nearly enough of this present moment. Yet this is the well-spring of happiness. Mr. "B. Hound" seems to instinctively know it: the key to being happy is finding joy in the small stuff; that is, the tail-wagging, ear-flapping small stuff we encounter each day along life's journey.

Now What?

In his studies, psychologist Dr. Fred Bryant reports that too many of us feel unhappy because we tell ourselves that we're too busy to do the things we enjoy. And this is unfortunate, since there are so many related health benefits to doing these enjoyable things. So it's crucial that we make room for enjoying the journey. Dr. Bryant suggests 4 simple things that we can do:

1. Share a happy memory. Contact a friend and talk about a specific experience you had with them that made you happy. Sharing happy memories and strengthening your social connections is one of the most powerful ways to magnify your feelings of joy.
2. Focus your senses. The next time you take a bite of dark chocolate (or any other delectable goody), close your eyes and savor the taste on your tongue. Shutting out some senses, while focusing on others, helps heighten your enjoyment of those positive experiences. And it can even make fleeting happy moments seem to last much longer.
3. Consider worse case scenarios. Resist the “grass is greener” mentality and all those upward comparisons, which only make you feel deprived. Instead, think downward - what you have that others don’t, or how your own life used to be worse off than it is now.
4. Lose yourself. Laugh out loud to a silly YouTube video or listen to your favorite music in the dark or drive down the highway with your head hanging out of the window! Feelings of happiness are greatest when you're totally immersed in something that brings you joy. 

Take a moment now and view the following video. With it's wonderful images and beautiful sounds, it's a blessed reminder to us to enjoy the journey.

Happy relating!
James Baumgardner, LPC, CFLE
james@thefamilypro.com, (918) 938-5474
The Family Pro Website Facebook

How to Turn an End Into an Edge

What's the idea?

Suddenly you find yourself on a well-worn path confronted by a wire fence. A let-down. An end. Or so it seems. For beyond this shadowy end is a patch of green, a brightly lit path, a beginning. A supposed setback on your journey, then, can be merely the edge of the next exciting stage of your life.

In his book, What You Can Change and What You Can't, Martin Seligman says, "The rest of the [life] tapestry is not determined by what has been woven before. The weaver herself, blessed with the knowledge and with freedom can change - if not the material she must work with - the design of what comes next."

So what?
An end is usually just an edge. A transition. Much of life’s journey is just so. We constantly experience transitions – the end of one stage dissolves into the edge of the next. Most of us very familiar with this reality of life. We recognize it. We acknowledge it. So the real challenge here is not in finding ways to avoid life’s “wire fences” but in limiting the time spent sulking in the "shadows."

Research has shown that upsetting events from our past don’t have to determine the course of our future, unless we choose to dwell on those events. It turns out that both expressing gratitude and granting forgiveness releases us from the pains we experienced in the past and the negativity that can be so debilitating in the present, which then empowers us with hope for our future.

Now what?

Set aside 20 minutes today to do the following: 1) List 3 people that are important to your life. Under each name write out 5 things about them that you genuinely appreciate and could hardly live without. 2) List 1 person with whom you’re having difficulty. Under this name write out 2 things that you can reasonably forgive as related to this person or the situation.

In this way you’ll be moving from one of your life’s shadowy ends into the edge of your bright and hope-filled beginning.

Happy relating and God bless! 

James Baumgardner, LPC, CFLE

The Family Pro