ANSWERED ME

A comforting yet challenging reminder from a mom who is still awaiting--after many, many years--a preferred answer from her God, one spoken word from her son; a mom who nevertheless entrusts her hope with the One Word of God. Peace to you, Kim, and all those who daily struggle with the excruciating dark-glass mystery of the Lord's "Yes"/"No"/"Not now but later"/"Not this but that"/"Not at all but in the end all will be made new in me forever" answer. Peace to you.

S.a.t.S.

WHAT ARE YOU MISSING?

What's The Big Idea?

"Don't hurry. Don't worry.
You're only here for a short visit.
So don't forget to stop and smell the roses." - Walter Hagen

A stranger in Wal-Mart yesterday attuned me to this "Stop-and-Smell-the-Roses" concept. Cruising through the produce section with my six- and four-year-old little guys, they both decided to sing--"IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR...!"--over and over and over and over again at nearly the top of their lungs. Can you hear this? Maybe this is why you've long ago sworn off Wal-Mart.

Now, I enjoy Christmas. I enjoy Christmas songs. But I like leaving all the Christmasy fanfare behind too, moving quickly on to Spring. I will not be accused of being out of season or out of touch. So this boisterous flash Christmas duet in the middle of January next to the bananas in Wal-Mart was somewhat embarrassing.  Embarrassing to me (I immediately tried shushing them up). But not at all embarrassing to my little guys. And certainly not to the stranger who overheard all this commotion. "Oh, let them sing. Let them sing" she implored me. So I paused... Listened... Smiled... And thus my attunement to what I was missing: the precious beauty of the present moment. Thank you Wal-Mart stranger.

So What?

What happened to me that day in Wal-Mart--that is, my recognition of what I was missing--reminds me of something that occurred a few years back midst the busyness of big city rush hour. Perhaps you remember this true story...

A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin. It was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about forty-five minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that 1,100 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

The one who paid any real attention was a three-year-old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried, but the child stopped to look at and listen to the violinist. Finally, the mother pushed hard, and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the forty-five minutes the musician played, only six people stopped and stayed for a while. About twenty gave him money, but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition. Watch a portion of what happened...

http://youtu.be/UM21gPmkDpI

No one knew it at the time but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the most talented musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate musical pieces ever written on a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before his playing in the subway he sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100 each.

Now What?

Do we see beauty, especially in unexpected places? Do we stop to appreciate it, even for a moment? If we don't take the opportunity to stop and enjoy one of the best musicians in the world playing some of the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing? Probably a lot, as the Joshua Bell experiment suggests.

So to help you stop missing those subtle yet beautiful things in your life, allow me to make a few suggestions that you can put it into practice today. [I've adapted these from Dani at Positively Present.]

1. Climb out of your rut as often as possible. Go outside rather than stay inside. Drive a new way to work rather than the same old way. Drink your root beer at room temperature rather than refrigerator cold (my favorite!). Or look up from your shopping cart and notice your children's faces.

2. Pay attention to the little things. Use another of your five senses (your sense of smell, for example) to notice stuff rather than the one you typically use. Dwell on that special way a family member makes your life much easier rather than on that way he or she annoys you. Or turn down the cacophony  in the produce aisle and turn up the sweetness of your children's voices.

3. Stop rushing and slow down. Aggressively evaluate how much of that weekend have-to-get-done busyness is 1) have-to (i.e., essential), and 2) get-done (i.e., essential now). Take extra time to really taste your food and drink. Walk instead of drive. Or instead of racing through the grocery store simply checking off the task, join in your children's expressions of likes, dislikes,wonder and singing.

S.a.t.S.

YOUR NEW PIC

"For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery" (Galatians 5:1 - ESV).


This past Sunday Shane Coffman, Worship Minister for Memorial Drive Church of Christ, graciously shared with us the video below. Before you watch, please read and reflect on the following words (Beautiful Things - Gungor):

"All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new
You are making me new

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new"

Now, with your mind fixed on the broken-to-beautiful transforming power of Jesus Christ, and with your heart filled with images of the new you in him, please watch...

http://www.sermonspice.com/product/48232/free

A prayer: Thanks God for my new pic; help me to be camera operator for someone else.

THE MANTI TE'O MESSAGE OF TRUTH

It's usually unwise to comment on the specifics of an ongoing story and, likewise, unhelpful to place blame while facts are still surfacing, so I will attempt neither here. But I would like to take the opportunity to make some observations arising from the recent revelations regarding Manti Te'o (Notre Dame linebacker and Heisman runner-up), his supposed online girlfriend and her death, and the apparent hoax.

Learning the initial elements of this story and hearing similar hoax stories from victimized friends, I ask: Is there any doubt that we are an escapist sort of people. When the painful realities of our lives seem unbearable, we seek relief in distraction. Or when the pleasures of an alternate reality seem too enticing, we make the trade for the mask. Whether it's based in a belief or a behavior, hoax living is often preferred to experiencing life as it is - the good, the bad, and the ugly. The truth.

Perhaps this is the crux of the matter. Has truth become so extinct in our postmodern world (and please don't prejudge me as a postmodernism hater; I do believe there are some very beneficial results in the wake of postmodernism) that reality is merely items to be picked over at one's existential buffet.

In other words, if I don't think I can handle a certain reality, then I'll avoid the pain by creating a false self to then be broadcast throughout social media. What about the embarrassment and hurt  it's likely to cause others? Well, that's a price I'm willing to pay. And if I think that there is gain to be found in this new reality (whether in money, fame, relationships, or all the above), then I'll acquire that pleasure, clinging tightly to the false persona and the short-term highs it provides. That is, until genuine reality comes rushing back in. And it will. It most certainly will. The truth.

As a Christian psychotherapist I know the value in re-visiting, re-framing, re-telling one's story, such that a new, healthier perception of reality can be developed - one that is rooted in God's grace and redemption, not in destructive beliefs and imprisoning behaviors. But this reality is a far cry from the one imagined and created by the avoidance-based, self-centered escapist. (As an aside, although not the same, this is akin to what clinicians label "malingering" and, to a lesser extent, "factitious disorder.") Too bad, isn't it, that our child-like, God-given imaginations and creativity have been co-opted and corrupted by our desire for falsity. Thank God for Truth.

Again, the facts of this particular story will surely change over the days to come, but I believe the message therein remains constant: Seek, accept, know, live in and live out truth. After all, "...whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things" (Philippians 4:8 - English Standard Version).

S.a.t.S.

Please see my new blog at familytrippin.wordpress.com

CHILDREN SEE. CHILDREN DO.

What's The Big Idea?

Scripture says, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6 - English Standard Version) - a blessed assurance for those parenting the next generation. And although it 's not an absolute guarantee of a "turned out right" child, it is a principle in which parents can find confidence.

That's comforting. Here's the challenging part: Most of this child training occurs in a children see-children do context. In other words, a parent's behavioral modeling (for better or worse) has the greatest impact upon the child's development, particularly character formation. When this modeling is healthy (e.g., eating well, exercising, showing compassion, managing anger, avoiding harmful habits) a child will imitate these courageous, caring actions. Unfortunately, the opposite is also true. When parents model unhealthy behaviors (e.g., neglecting physical health, displaying prejudices, permitting anger to hurt others, using chemicals) the child - seeking acceptance and approval from those he loves and respects most (his parents) - will imitate the destructive behaviors he has witnessed.

The following video depicts this concept; that is, the tremendous impact of parental modeling on the lives of children. Take a look...

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHi2dxSf9hw&w=420&h=315]

So What?

In The Parenting Journey, H. Wallace Goddard and Steven A. Dennis say, "When we take good care of ourselves, we can be better parents and set a good example for our children. We should try our best to eat well, get plenty of rest, and exercise regularly. We should also make time in our lives to do the things we love to do."

We all want our children to "turn out right," to grow up to thrive in their communities. Children learn by watching us. But we don't always model for them what healthy, moral living looks like.  We are imperfect, inconsistent shadows of the truth. That's the bad news. The good news is that we can be "good enough parents" (Virginia Satir's term) and still train our children in the way they should go. If we make being healthy a priority, it will become a priority for them as well. When we take care of ourselves, which includes moral character as well as physical health, our children tend to make similar choices with their own lives.

Now What?

Try to identify one or two things you can do to create a healthier life for you and, by extension, your child. Is it something you need to start doing (e.g., taking time to relax, having fun, and reducing stress)? Or is it something you need to stop doing (e.g., entertaining negative thoughts about yourself or another)? Then plan it, prepare it,and practice it. Once you're successful at one healthy change, pick another and do the same. And finally, enjoy seeing your child seeing and doing it, too.

- S.a.t.S.