CHILDREN SEE. CHILDREN DO.

What's The Big Idea?

Scripture says, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6 - English Standard Version) - a blessed assurance for those parenting the next generation. And although it 's not an absolute guarantee of a "turned out right" child, it is a principle in which parents can find confidence.

That's comforting. Here's the challenging part: Most of this child training occurs in a children see-children do context. In other words, a parent's behavioral modeling (for better or worse) has the greatest impact upon the child's development, particularly character formation. When this modeling is healthy (e.g., eating well, exercising, showing compassion, managing anger, avoiding harmful habits) a child will imitate these courageous, caring actions. Unfortunately, the opposite is also true. When parents model unhealthy behaviors (e.g., neglecting physical health, displaying prejudices, permitting anger to hurt others, using chemicals) the child - seeking acceptance and approval from those he loves and respects most (his parents) - will imitate the destructive behaviors he has witnessed.

The following video depicts this concept; that is, the tremendous impact of parental modeling on the lives of children. Take a look...

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHi2dxSf9hw&w=420&h=315]

So What?

In The Parenting Journey, H. Wallace Goddard and Steven A. Dennis say, "When we take good care of ourselves, we can be better parents and set a good example for our children. We should try our best to eat well, get plenty of rest, and exercise regularly. We should also make time in our lives to do the things we love to do."

We all want our children to "turn out right," to grow up to thrive in their communities. Children learn by watching us. But we don't always model for them what healthy, moral living looks like.  We are imperfect, inconsistent shadows of the truth. That's the bad news. The good news is that we can be "good enough parents" (Virginia Satir's term) and still train our children in the way they should go. If we make being healthy a priority, it will become a priority for them as well. When we take care of ourselves, which includes moral character as well as physical health, our children tend to make similar choices with their own lives.

Now What?

Try to identify one or two things you can do to create a healthier life for you and, by extension, your child. Is it something you need to start doing (e.g., taking time to relax, having fun, and reducing stress)? Or is it something you need to stop doing (e.g., entertaining negative thoughts about yourself or another)? Then plan it, prepare it,and practice it. Once you're successful at one healthy change, pick another and do the same. And finally, enjoy seeing your child seeing and doing it, too.

- S.a.t.S.