It's usually unwise to comment on the specifics of an ongoing story and, likewise, unhelpful to place blame while facts are still surfacing, so I will attempt neither here. But I would like to take the opportunity to make some observations arising from the recent revelations regarding Manti Te'o (Notre Dame linebacker and Heisman runner-up), his supposed online girlfriend and her death, and the apparent hoax.
Learning the initial elements of this story and hearing similar hoax stories from victimized friends, I ask: Is there any doubt that we are an escapist sort of people. When the painful realities of our lives seem unbearable, we seek relief in distraction. Or when the pleasures of an alternate reality seem too enticing, we make the trade for the mask. Whether it's based in a belief or a behavior, hoax living is often preferred to experiencing life as it is - the good, the bad, and the ugly. The truth.
Perhaps this is the crux of the matter. Has truth become so extinct in our postmodern world (and please don't prejudge me as a postmodernism hater; I do believe there are some very beneficial results in the wake of postmodernism) that reality is merely items to be picked over at one's existential buffet.
In other words, if I don't think I can handle a certain reality, then I'll avoid the pain by creating a false self to then be broadcast throughout social media. What about the embarrassment and hurt it's likely to cause others? Well, that's a price I'm willing to pay. And if I think that there is gain to be found in this new reality (whether in money, fame, relationships, or all the above), then I'll acquire that pleasure, clinging tightly to the false persona and the short-term highs it provides. That is, until genuine reality comes rushing back in. And it will. It most certainly will. The truth.
As a Christian psychotherapist I know the value in re-visiting, re-framing, re-telling one's story, such that a new, healthier perception of reality can be developed - one that is rooted in God's grace and redemption, not in destructive beliefs and imprisoning behaviors. But this reality is a far cry from the one imagined and created by the avoidance-based, self-centered escapist. (As an aside, although not the same, this is akin to what clinicians label "malingering" and, to a lesser extent, "factitious disorder.") Too bad, isn't it, that our child-like, God-given imaginations and creativity have been co-opted and corrupted by our desire for falsity. Thank God for Truth.
Again, the facts of this particular story will surely change over the days to come, but I believe the message therein remains constant: Seek, accept, know, live in and live out truth. After all, "...whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things" (Philippians 4:8 - English Standard Version).
S.a.t.S.
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