What's the idea?
Suddenly you find yourself on a well-worn path confronted by a wire fence. A let-down. An end. Or so it seems. For beyond this shadowy end is a patch of green, a brightly lit path, a beginning. A supposed setback on your journey, then, can be merely the edge of the next exciting stage of your life.
In his book, What You Can Change and What You Can't, Martin Seligman says, "The rest of the [life] tapestry is not determined by what has been woven before. The weaver herself, blessed with the knowledge and with freedom can change - if not the material she must work with - the design of what comes next."
So what?
An end is usually just an edge. A transition. Much of life’s journey is just so. We constantly experience transitions – the end of one stage dissolves into the edge of the next. Most of us very familiar with this reality of life. We recognize it. We acknowledge it. So the real challenge here is not in finding ways to avoid life’s “wire fences” but in limiting the time spent sulking in the "shadows."
An end is usually just an edge. A transition. Much of life’s journey is just so. We constantly experience transitions – the end of one stage dissolves into the edge of the next. Most of us very familiar with this reality of life. We recognize it. We acknowledge it. So the real challenge here is not in finding ways to avoid life’s “wire fences” but in limiting the time spent sulking in the "shadows."
Research has shown that upsetting events from our past don’t have to determine the course of our future, unless we choose to dwell on those events. It turns out that both expressing gratitude and granting forgiveness releases us from the pains we experienced in the past and the negativity that can be so debilitating in the present, which then empowers us with hope for our future.
Now what?
Set aside 20 minutes today to do the following: 1) List 3 people that are important to your life. Under each name write out 5 things about them that you genuinely appreciate and could hardly live without. 2) List 1 person with whom you’re having difficulty. Under this name write out 2 things that you can reasonably forgive as related to this person or the situation.
In this way you’ll be moving from one of your life’s shadowy ends into the edge of your bright and hope-filled beginning.
Happy relating and God bless!
James Baumgardner, LPC, CFLE
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