A LOVE CONNECTION AT THE CLEARANCE TENT

Look closely. Have you ever come across one of these rare treasures? No? Well, I stumbled upon them recently while perusing the shelves of a Wal-Mart clearance tent. They're called Toilet Tattoos (click here if you're not fortunate enough to have a Wal-Mart clearance tent near you).

Basically, they're peel-off stickers for the top of your potty lid. Yeah, I know...totally cool, right? "What a great way to trick out your commode," I said to myself while holding them up for Mary (my wife) to check out. Mary, on the other hand, shot me me a look that, when honestly interpreted, I think said something slightly different. Perhaps something like, "If you even THINK about buying those for MY bathrooms you WILL be living alone, in a trailer, down by the river, with YOUR tacky Toilet Tattoos." So, as I'm writing this post, my trailer is a little warm, but the river's calming and my toilet looks great!

Just kidding, of course. But our clearance-tent moment does highlight an important concept in marriage: differences between husband and wife, even seemingly trivial ones, can either endear us to or endanger us against each other.

With the latter (endangering), partners see their different styles, desires, and needs as threats to their own personal well-being and growth. Conflict erupts around these differences, it feeds on itself, and when couples are caught in this negative sentiment, they allow these believed threats to undermine any efforts toward friendship and intimacy.

With the former (endearing), partners see their differences as strengths to their relationship. They understand that their different styles and desires and needs provide a crucial balance for each other's tendency toward extremes; for instance, purchasing tasteless potty lid stickers for the bathrooms throughout one's house (if you've already done this, please accept my apology and feel free to comment below).

In other words, when Mary shot me her mildly unpleasant look, this was her appeal for me to come back from my "difference edge." I listened and obeyed, honoring her personal strength in couthness. Now, if I did have my own trailer down by the river, my appeal to her might have been for her to ease away from her "difference edge"--that is, lack of spontaneity, caution, anti-uncouth hilarity--and grant me permission to trick out my trailer toilet. And, honoring me, she would proceed to confiscate my credit card and make me vow to never bring it up again.

Oh well, often times it's perfectly fine, even recommended for your relationship to just accept some influence, chuckle about your differences, and move on to the next item on the clearance shelf...

"What about these giant Wreck It Ralph foam fists? Totally cool, right?"

S.a.t.S.